April Fools

The Tories seem to have a very clear election strategy – make shit up! I was going to do an April fools post with lots of made up stories, but instead I’d just advise listening to Cameron or Osborne for the rest of the day.

Take this bold face lie promise to create 1,000 jobs a day if elected. Is Cameron seriously suggesting that he can add 365,000 per year? Because that would imply full employment by 2020! which is of course an absurd thing for any politician to promise.

Now I’m quite sure if you torture statistics to death for long enough you’ll be able to proof that you could do this, by for example ignoring seasonal adjustments or casual employment (i.e. a lot of people work temporary stints and hence might go through several jobs a year and would thus be counted several times by such analysis) you can come up with something which says this is possible….but that’s still kind of what the rest of us classify as “lying”.

I mean if everyone votes for me, I’ll create several million jobs in my first week in office (by sacking the entire civil service, NHS and army on a Friday and then re-hiring them on the Monday :))). Farage plans to create millions of jobs too…..in Romania ;D (when all the UK’s factories shut and move to Eastern Europe).

And needless to say you’d have to be pretty naive to believe this open letter from 100 business leaders was a “spontaneous” show of support for the Tories….in much the same way we’d be led to believe the recent +90% victory of Islam Karmiov in Uzbekistan’s who wants to go to the gulag poll election was a “spontaneous” show of support for not getting murdered by his death squads.

Of course, given that Cameron’s wriggled out of any debates during the election campaign (save one where his opponents will be lucky to get a word in edgeways) its unlikely he’ll get caught out. Its unlikely he’ll face the sort of scrutiny other parties have to endure, no Natalie Bennett moments are likely, largely because he has the backing of the Murdoch press and the rest of the right wing media.

For the right wing media this is a terrifying election. On the left there’s labour and the SNP and on the right UKIP. This means that if the Tories appear to lean too far to the right, they’ll immediately lose support from many in the centre to labour. If they lean to far left, he could risk spliting the Tory party down the middle, with large defections to UKIP. So the only option is effectively to bribe the electorate. But as he’s nothing to actually bribe people with (other than the promise of more public service cuts!), they are left with the option of just making stuff up.