Fun and Games this summer in Glasgow

And speaking of the commonwealth games, there has been an attempt to butter up Glasgow for the games. They are doing up the subway stations (wiping down the sick and empty cartons from the base of the track), putting up trees, grass and shrubs in key places (confusing the neds http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ned_(Scottish) who don’t know what this green stuff is…by now I’m guessing they’ve tried smoking it and realised it ain’t that kind of “grass” :))).

The term “making a silk purse out of a sow’s ear” or “dressing mutton up as lamb” springs to mind.

Meanwhile, I managed to get tickets for the games. Unfortunately I failed to get tickets for the events I really want, the new sports Glasgow will be introducing. Such as Glasgow fencing (fencing with broken buckie bottles). While the language of fencing is nominally French, here it will be Glaswegian (“ay you’s about to get chibbed”). Then there’s the 100m dash with a stolen TV. The Pursuit (same but with a cop chasing after you), adventure cycling (involves cycling around Glasgow streets with Neds trying to knock you off you’re bike and taxi / bus drivers looking to run you over). Then there’s that Glasgow tradition, the 5km stagger (staggering home from the pub drunk, while getting a deep fried supper, dodging neds, crack heads and cops as well as the other various “obstacles” on a Glasgow street, along with a few “comfort breaks” in a doorway).

But it will all be good fun. Of course the first sporting event will be for the athletes to get from the airport thro Paisley (one of the rougher parts of Glasgow, as they locals said at the time of that “terrorist” attack a few years ago, a burning car with a burning man being kicked to death is not “news” in Paisley!) to the stadium (via Dalmarnock, another rough area, down the road in Calton the life expectancy is jusst 54, the lowest in the Western world, lower than the Gaza strip or Iraq!)…alive! Also might be worth taking some Scottish language lessons. I mean even the I-Phones have difficulty understanding the Scottish accent. But hopefully, this will be the Scottish weather forecast for the games. :wave:

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2 thoughts on “Fun and Games this summer in Glasgow

    • If it was Embra the sports would include the 1 and a half mile promanade (which involves swaning around in top hat and tails).

      Or the Fringe crawl (a 26km assault course thro Edinburgh running from show to show, while squeezing thro the crowds and squeezing the required amount of drinking time).

      Like

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