The intellectual President

Good news from Ireland, it would seem that the Labour party candidate (note to brit’s: that’s an actual labour workers-of-the-world-unite-type party not Tories wt red ties as in the UK) Micheal D. Higgins is almost certain to be elected President of Ireland.

This for me is a bit of a welcome surprise. You see while personally I reckoned Michael D. Higgins would make an excellent president of the country (whose role is largely ceremonial, like the queen except without the Corgie’s or all the royal pomp), his campaign suffered from one glaring flaw – he frequently called himself “an intellectual”. Worse still, he wrote down in his CV “lecturer” and “poet” as his job titles! On the TV debates while Sean “Brown envelopes” Gallagher and Martin “bomber” McGuinness were arguing over who was the biggest crook, Micheal D was composing poetry about the existential nature of the body politic.

What had me worried until today was that recent elections have not been kind to intellectuals. Look at Bush v’s Gore in the 2000’s. Bush, who was so thick that he could barely spell his own name, and narrowly avoided a couple of Darwin award nominations (notably in his first year being nearly killed by a pretzel), nearly won that election before being given the job by the supreme court. By contrast Gore was so smart he single handily solved Global Warming, invented the internet and cured cancer simultaneously (okay I’m exaggerating a little 😉 ). Indeed looking at the poll numbers its clear than many in Fine Gael and Fianna Fail (both right wing parties) must have cross party lines to vote for Micheal D. Higgins. So a tip of the hat to my fellow Irish for being so sensible….

….And a wag of my finger at the 243,030 who voted for Martin left-IRA-in-1974-&-just-obeying-orders-before-then Mc Guinness. Do you really want him as the country’s president? He’d be installing a mortar firing range in the Phoenix Park, the Yanks would want to put him through a metal detector before letting him in the White House, and he’d need to fit a special set of two letter boxes to the Aras, one for the letter bombs and the other for the brown envelopes. Its bad enough with his Gerriness the Baron of Northstead in Leinster house, but McGuinness would have been a step too far.

But I can forgive many of those voting for Mc Guinness, as I know that for many it was a protest vote against the failings of the political system. He was always there as a spoiler candidate. What is truly inexcusable is 51,220 who voted for Dana! For those not from the Emerald Isle thinking, I’ve heard that name before, no its not this Dana but the crazy other one. What is her claim to fame? She won the eurovision song contest (I swear I ain’t making this up!) and went to America and came back a religious nut job who makes Bachmann sound like a whinny pro-choice liberal. How can so many people in Ireland be that dumb? She’s essentially the Irish equivalent of the Westboro Baptist church, in that she shows up anywhere that she can draw publicity to herself and her lunatic cause. Consequently if there was a referendum giving everyone the right to breath she’d nominate herself in charge of the “no breathing” campaign.

But in the end we’ve got the best candidate for the job. Of course this “Intellectual” business could be a bit of a problem if Perry or Bachmann win the next US election, as there’s a not to serious risk that you put Michael D in the same room with them, he’ll either talk them into becoming socialists or read them some of his poetry until they gnaw they’re own legs off. Needless to say he won’t be doing much “bunga, bunga” if we send him to Italy!


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