How to solve a problem like Sarah Palin

This week Sarah “death-panel-wheres-his-birth-certificate-paling-around-wt-terrorists-don’t-retreat-reload-in-my-crosshairs” Palin confirmed that she was not running for the office of president (thank god for that! :D). Apparently according to her official statement, after much “prayer” (even god told her she didn’t stand a snowballs chance) and thought (that must have been painful for her!) she decided not to run.

Actually this was not surprising, since the Gifford shooting incident (see my take on that here), where she compounded her own errors with her silly “blood libel” gaffe her campaign for president has been effectively DOA. As I pointed out before this mirrors the downfall of Randolph Hearst’s political ambitions when he stirred up a crowd of crazies and someone took a shot at a rival politician. There was also the disaster that was her appearance on Glenn Beck where she had another, “Sarah Palin” moment and was unable to name any of the founding fathers other than George Washington :no:. If she walks away from a Glenn Beck interview looking like a douche bag what would John Steward or Larry King or Katy Couric make of her (casserole? Pastrami?).

Probably the most damning indictment of Sarah Palin however, has been the former staffers of the John Mc Cain campaign. They firmly blame her for the failure of McCain to get elected in 2008 and many seem guilty and so foolishly putting somebody as crazy as her :crazy: that close to the nuclear briefcase. To drop a few quotes (source The Times, when a Murdoch rag attacks you, then you’re goose is cooked):

“You guys have a lot of work to do” Steve Schmidt, Mr McCain’s campaign chief “She doesn’t know anything”

“Palin couldn’t explain why North Korea and South Korea were separate nations. She didn’t know what the Federal reserve did. Asked who attacked America on 9/11, she suggested several times that it was Saddam Hussein. Asked to identify the enemy that her son would be fighting in Iraq, she drew a blank. Later, on the plane, Palin said to her team: ‘I wish I’d paid more attention to this stuff'”

an urgent SOS was sent to McCain headquarters… “They began discussing a new and threatening possibility: that Palin was mentally unstable.”

Also in the last few weeks various stories have begun to circulate suggesting that she wasn’t all apple pie and moose hunting. These stories allege that she may have taken drugs, had numerous illicit affairs (worse one of those with a College professor! To her base most of whom can barely read and write, that’s equivalent of Ted Haggard getting off with a rent boy…oh! wait that actually happened!), tried to get to first base with her step son and that her husband is looking to divorce her.

I would note that quite a few of these rumours seem to be originating from a recently published book about her called “The Rogue”. You’ll also note that one of my sources is the Daily Mail (i.e. yes, hardly the most reliable news source in the world! Indeed the very fact they’re talking about it leads me to doubt the accuracy of these stories). However, clearly if this early in the campaign she’s under this level of a barrage you can imagine what would happen if she’d actually declared. Indeed that Daily Mail article is worth reading (here it is again, I like the line “…that she once snorted cocaine off a 55 gallon oil drum while snowmobiling with friends and had illicit affairs with a top NBA star and one of her husband’s business partners…”) because it looks to me like the Daily Fail had a sizeable portfolio of dirt on Sarah that the planned to drip out in bite sized chunks over the course of the next few months, but after she announced she wasn’t running they clearly decided to blurt it all out at once in one massive brain fart. The fact that even a right wing paper like the Mail can be against her should tell you something. Also the polls consistently showed the majority of republicans (those not looking for Obama’s death panels/birth cert) 70% of them in fact did not want her to run. She would have stood no chance of getting the nomination and even less of a one of actually winning the election.

Unfortunately there are plenty of right wing nuts (a “Gallery of Ghouls” as Al-Jazeera puts it) in the tea party to take over her mantle. From Michelle “Batshit Crazy” Bachmann :crazy:, whose husband teaches people how not to be gay (here’s her hiding behind a bush at a gay rights rally). Then there’s Rich “invade Mexico” Perry (or did he mean Poland? :>>). See crazy v’s stupid here in Slate for more on these two “dumb WASP‘s”. Or how about Ron “drown-big-government-in-the-bath-and-let-kids-die-by-the-side-of-the-road-turn-USA-into–Somalia” Paul. The choice is your’s :wave:!

One has to wonder if one of the Tea Party winning the nomination might actually be a good thing. Obama stands a much better chance against a nut job than against someone sensible, although there is the worrying wait for the rest of us and the tiny risk that they might actually win (in which case a co-ordinated nuclear strike from the entire world against the US would seem sensible ;D)

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3 thoughts on “How to solve a problem like Sarah Palin

  1. Pingback: House of Cards | daryanblog

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