Culture Vultures

The Saudi’s have made, according to them an important intelligent coup, they are now holding what could be Mossad’s top spy in the country….a Vulture (no that’s not his code name, I mean they’ve arrested an actually Vulture on suspicion of spying for Israel)……yes really, I’m not joking. Seriously, no joke, no its not April 1st yet…trust me.
The Bird brained sleuth apparently landed somewhere near the desert city of Hyaal. Locals noticed a GPS tag on its leg with the name of a Tele Aviv uni attached. The Saudi officials are presumably interrogating the bird as we speak(or sqawk)…no word yet on whether he’s cracked….I suspect a good deal of they’re time being taken up by whether one squawk means “yes”, “no” or “up-your’s man! I ain’t every gona talk to nobody but my lawyer!”
This story could be dismissed as a one off if it weren’t for the small matter of the Lebanese man convicted of Sorcery last year in Saudi Arabia, yes, again, I’m not joking they actually convicted a man of being a sorcerer. A little advice for any Saudi secret police reading this – if you catch a sorcerer and he doesn’t teleport out of his cell during the night (or turn you into a newt), its probably a reasonable guess that he’s not an actual sorcerer.
Incidentally I know the date on the story above says 2nd of April and when most of the news media heard it last year, they thought the Saudi’s were having a laugh, only trouble was it turned out to be true. This comes also on the foot of recent claims by Egyptian officials that Mossad may be behind the recent shark attacks in Sharm el-Sheikh.

What the hell is going on down there in the Middle East? Is there some sort of madness virus floating around? My guess is that if there’s any conspiracy here its not the Israeli’s who are behind it all, but the little grey aliens from Area 51. This is the first phase of they’re invasion plan, which is to convince us all that everyone in the Middle East is stark raving bonkers (Operation Crying Wolf). Then after they’ve invaded and the Saudi King is frantically ringing Obama, Putin and Dave Cameron looking for military reinforcements, they’ll be like “okay, Abdul, let me get this straight, some giant alien war machines are marching through Riyadh blowing up the city….now I gotta ask you (snigger!)…how do you know its aliens driving them, I mean it could be those Mossad Vultures or Lebanese sorcerer’s you were going on about last week!”

There’s also been a growing number of stories across the middle east of attacks on Christian churches. The danger with this is it could set off our Birth cert investigating, white linen wearing, Tea(bagging) lovers again, who’ll be firing up old propane Jane again before heading down to they’re local Muslim supplies store, which will of course just provoke more violence in the middle east.

Speaking of which how did that (far)right (and-not-so)reverent get his hands on all those Korans to begin with? I mean didn’t the guy in the Islamic centre who sold him them think it odd that some right wing nut would want to buy a load of Korans? …..then again, in America money talks and s&it walks. You’re man could have been carrying a petrol can, dressed in full KKK regalia and so long as he paid in cash, said please & thank you (and left a tip) nobody would have looked at him twice. Either way, this sort of stuff doesn’t do anyone any favours.
Now, I appreciate that those in the Muslim world has quite a few things to be angry about (no least the fact its feckin hot down there!). They have some genuine grievances with the Israelis, who are basically nicking land that doesn’t belong to them. Yes, Israel has a right to defend herself but there is a line between reasonable force for self defence, and excessive force in violation of international law. To say the Israeli’s, have crossed this line is putting it mildly, its more a case that they’ve driven a tank battalion over the line, bombed it with white phosphorous, denied the line was ever their and when the global media caught them out, they claimed the line was actually anti-Semitic anyway.
But all that said, these sorts of stories are just going to make the Arab world the laughing stock of the planet. If there’s something people in the Middle East should be getting upset about its not Israeli Spy Condor’s or Danish Cartoonists, but the autocratic, corrupt, totalitarian regimes that run most of they’re countries….course if you’re an Imam in Saudi Arabia and you start giving out about the king, the corruption, the inequality and the squandering of the country’s mineral wealth, chances are you won’t even finish the first sentence before being shuffled off stage by two guys in dark glasses (never to be seen again), start ranting a load of BS about Danish cartoonists, or Christians or Israel, and you’ll have no problems.


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